1. One Step Beyond
My resistance is broken
I can not even lift my head
Left myself too wide open
Now I pull back myself instead
Is it true that although I’m numb it’s burning?
Is it true that outside the world keeps turning?
And then it’s you – you rouse in me the fire I need
And it’s true – you show me how to put me at ease
And when you soothe you reach to pull me out from the deep
What a fool – because you should be the one I relieve
For when you rise and carry on and take me one step beyond
You find the words that I’d never search for
You try to make me strong and take me one step beyond
You win the thoughts that I can not fight for
My resistance gets weaker
How to breathe when the air is gone?
Can one lose what one lived for?
How to end? – How to carry on?
Soaking up the moonlight remorsefully – picking up the dirt devotedly
How to keep on, to keep on?
Exchanging a dime for misery – relinquishing hopes reluctantly
How to keep on, to keep on?
2. Signed Away
I gave you truth – you gave me nothing
I broke and you took advantage of it
I wrote the lines – you never read them with me
Just spoke inside insidiously
I knew my fortune but believed my lies
A million reasons just to prove me right
I built it with you but without a doubt
You where never with me, now I found it out …
I signed my life away
And spilled the ink of trust I should have saved
I offered all my tears I used to hide
To blur the lines of truth I kept inside
If you’d asked for rainbows – would have brought them here
For in brightest colors you would have shone for me
And a thousand treasures – would have searched for all
But the colors darkened – they will shine no more …
… and I write it down inside … inside …
… and I fight and I turn the page of sighs …
… and I feel it here tonight … tonight …
… and I cried and I signed off my life …
3. For One Day
Your hands uncertain, with your voice unheard
When you’re lost in senses it’s for all you’re worth
With your eyes you capture where the others fail
With your face you show me what you long to say
When the waves of sorrow surge into your heart
No-one knows how deeply it tears yourself apart
For one day – teach me dreams unbroken
For one day – speak what’s left unspoken
For one day – come into the open
For one day …
Timid gestures and your sight unsure
When you cry in silence it’s not a fake at all
And then your tears of sorrow the others fail to see
From me you can not hide it – you can not lie to me
When the isolation justifies your thoughts
And alone you wonder who will hear your call
I’ll be waiting – I’ll be waiting for you
I am hoping to relieve your sorrows
I am dreaming – I am longing for it
Show me reasons for one day …
4. Former Life
It is written in her face like a book she opened wide
Are you bothering at all?
Don’t you hear it in her voice long ago her pride has broken?
Don’t you care for her no more?
That’s your former life …
When she’s giving you her hand out of habit you reply
Don’t you feel you cause her pain?
She would build for you the world, in your colors she would paint it
But she cried for you in vain …
That’s your former life …
When you used her, did you feel, did you need her?
When you squeezed her, did you see, did you please her?
When the day will fade to nothing and the night will come in sight
When the lust has stopped to warm you, you will freeze without her light
When the storm has ceased to touch you and it leaves you on your own
When it’s silence all around you, you will face your life alone … alone …
Did you see it in her eyes? Did you see her pride had broken?
Did you think of her at all?
5. On The Verge Of Tears
Senselessly and full of silence I’m waiting here tonight
And with a sort of scorn a waft of mist is covering my life
It is for lack of reason in my past I’m aging pointlessly?
And then I close the eyes to bide my time in absence of a dream
How should I stand the darkness without a distant glow?
How should I cross the desert without a grain of hope?
How can I face the silence without a voice that’s near?
And while I feel the raindrops I’m on the verge of tears …
Bitterly the memories are torturing my mind
Of all this places where I left my verve as time was passing by
And now I realize the path I took might end prematurely
Isn’t it cynical, but now I’m yearning for this dreamless sleep
I sigh for it, I’d fight for it, I’d die for it, I’ll try …
6. When The Leaves Fall Down
All we knew for decades is spoken – thousand promises have been broken
Rub out leafs of trials – empty lines
Feel that our force is mistaken – see how our future is shaken
Wipe it off our eyes – clear our minds
See now what we left behind! Passively – it wasn’t enough we tried!
Why did we wait though we knew inside? Did we fail?
Now, we always took it for granted – start when it already has ended
Pour out lots of wine – crush the ice
Fields, our lands are gutted by fire – miles of dirt and hatred grow higher
Drink our glass of wine – taste our lies
Not eternal, not for sale, not a gift to throw away – and when the leafs fall down
Not our places, not our life, not our room we vandalize – when the leafs fall down
Not self-evident, not due, not a passing rendez-vous – when the leafs fall down
Not a game and not so weak, irreplaceably unique – when the leafs fall down …
7. Words From Another Day
Hear your words from another day
Hear your voice as from outside
Hear the sounds in a different way
And your words make my heart cry
You told me you will be there
Told me you’ll always care
Told me I’ll never be alone
But you were wrong – I can’t go on …
Feel your warmth from another day
Feel the cold that is outside
Feel the world in a different way
This emptiness makes my heart cry
You told me you’ll never leave
Told me the words I’d need
Told me the world will be our home
But you are gone – I can’t go on …
8. Cold Suns
He can’t sleep at night and he works all day
Tries to close his eyes – it won’t go away
On his daily road, on a dead-end street
Has not lost the faith he still feels …
And every break of dawn for all these years
He hopes the burden falls … and …
Cold suns from a distance watch him fading away
Cold suns guide his path and try to soothe his wounds but they fail
Cold suns shine on fields of hope he works for day after day
From a distant place one can feel his past
One can judge the weight since he lost his heart
Where he finds the strength against the wind that blows?
What the future brings no-one knows …
And every break of dawn for all these years
He hopes the burden falls off now …
9. Hypnotized
Unavoidably sure, energized and full of life
Illuminate and persuade the souvenirs I have inside … it’s
Immaturely pure, it proselytized me to you
Mesmerized I close my eyes and dream of things I’d like to do
Believe me – I can foresee it – it is so easy and now I feel it …
I’m hypnotized – never questioning my faith
And I’m hypnotized I’m definitely right
I’m hypnotized – never questioning my faith
And I’m hypnotized or arrogantly blind
Vigorously I’m strong, perfect goals are never wrong
Faultlessly it’s clear to me: the end does justify the means … it’s
Philosophically true – it explains all things I do
Elucidates the sense it makes, I never was this sure before
Believe me – I can foresee it – it is so easy and now I feel it …
Blind I trace my way, sign the words I say … what a comfort!
Try to verbalize what I have inside … what a comfort!
10. Heal
You could be the air I breathe in
The flood that will shape the stones
You’d symbolize shelter for me
The stars like to shine on
You’d give me reasons to exist
And take away my pain … you would …
Heal all that time has failed to try
Be what it takes to comfort my life
And mean everything to me – but future’s not yet here for me
You’d turn every tear to pleasure
Caressing my eyes with rain
You’d calm down the storms of my life
Faith I can rely on
You’d fill all the clouds with daylight and
While chasing the night away … you would …
Would you teach me, would you guide me,
would you show me, would you try?
11. Transitory Times
When the sleep at night missed our rendez-vous
Like an orphaned child I am watching you
When I lie awake and I bide my time
Through the cold you warm, through the dark you shine
Then I close my eyes and lose you
Think of days without you near
From this nightmare – cold and unsure
I verify that you’re still here
Cover me with calm tonight
To freeze these transitory times
When I wake at night from a restless sleep
And the mists of dreams loosen hold from me
For a second then fear to be alone
When I hear you breathe all my fears are gone
Then I close my eyes and lose you
Think how lonely it would be
Can a dream just last forever?
You’re such a precious gift to me …
12. Presets
Tasted flavors of regret
Paid for all my past preset
Countless hours that I cried
Stigmatized but still a child
And then it followed me out and marked my way
It tried to cover me now – this was my fate
And though it killed me inside and fossilized
But how can it legitimize to judge my life?
Why – why does it overshadow lights I have in me?
Why – why does it soil the way I feel?
Why – why can it testify the words I did not speak?
Why …
So while I figured it out, started to see
What many people somehow, they saw in me
And though I live with it now – from day to day
Still taste the flavors of how it preset my way … discriminates …
Swim inside my room and fix the walls
Turn my thoughts, my thoughts they turn it all
Lack a joint of confidence – booze the pills of ignorance
Feel I’m microscopically small
Drown inside my lit aquarium
Watched by scientists and so alone
Alice in a wonderland – silly-billy different
In a world of fake and silicone
Open your eyes to find it’s right not wrong and the flavors left no trace
Open your eyes and find the rain is gone and the presets wiped away
Open your eyes to leave the wonderland – it’s not your future just your past
Open your eyes and gain the confidence because the confidence will last
Linger in a sort of big balloon
Try to throw the words in cotton wool
Voices that can’t penetrate – syllables you’ll suffocate
Endless linguistic interludes
Leave your sea – unique you are
Strong not weak and near, not far